You Deserve True Love!
True love? Have you ever found it? If you’ve been following my blog (read more here), you know that I did not post last week. I’ll be honest, I was going through a bit of a rough patch and I had no inspiration at all. I’m happy to be back and I hope today’s post can resonate, in some way, with many of you.
Since I got back from Greece, I’ve been reflecting a lot! OK, I always do … my head never stops … but hey! That being said, I’ve met wonderful people during my trip and was blessed with wonderful conversations with some of the sweetest people. In fact, all of my encounters had a common denominator all along this trip: love.
Well… Love wasn’t really the topic… It had more to do with sex! Please don’t get me wrong, I’m talking about conversations that revolved around the topic of sexual relations/love relationships. Not anything else … hmmm … hmmm!
Have You Given Up on Love?
It all started with a TikTok video of a gay guy who was trying to encourage others exhorting us to believe in true love. Talking about his own experience and about how long it took him to find the right person; he was saying how happy he now is.
This video deeply moved me. Reading some of the comments and reflecting on it, I then communicated with a friend telling him how the gay world was such a hard place for men to find love. He cut me off and said, “Nick, why is the gay world so different? It’s the same for the straight world!”
So, being me, with such a curious mind, I needed to dig deeper into the subject. As I met some friends for coffee in Athens, I triggered some conversations; Love! Have we given up…
Believe me, those conversations were more than interesting and gave me so much inspiration for a project I’m working on. Aren’t we all looking for love? Don’t we all dream about love? So why are so many scared of commitment? Isn’t commitment linked to love? Doesn’t commitment give us a sense of belonging?
Is Love Still a Thing?
After leaving the priesthood, I really wanted to come to terms with myself and wanted to meet a person with whom I could share my life. I was probably very naive and believed in Disney-like fairy tales.
You know, you meet the perfect person, at the right time, you both fall in love immediately and don’t exchange numbers because you are too shy. You do not know where that person lives and where he hangs out. But then something magical happens! As you’re about to miss the metro, you run through the closing doors and you find yourself physically bumping into that same person… And as you know, you live happily ever after.
Call me foolish! But there is a part of me that still wants to believe this is possible. I also believe that I’ve known similar situations which allowed me to meet amazing people, but I also know I wasn’t psychologically ready for the real thing!
However, I’m also noticing that a lot of people have given up on love. They consciously give up on finding the right person and accept sexual relations as a bandage for their open wound; the need to be loved.
Indeed, so many are in open relationships, they share their bodies and heart with strangers, willingly refusing to accept any possible feeling that could arise because they are committed to the person they love … but are they really? They are single and will mingle for fun as the only available option out there.
Some will stay in loveless relationships, making it impossible to meet the right person, because of the commodity of a home, etc. And there are some dinosaurs, like me, who still believe in the beauty of domestication.
Do You Even Love Yourself?
Domestication? Yes, like in the story of “The Little Prince,” where the fox doesn’t want the Little Prince to touch him until they truly domesticate each other. Why? Because when you domesticate, you become responsible of the other person!
Isn’t that profoundly true? Don’t we all need to be domesticated and loved for who we are? Isn’t that true love? I often told friends that if you enter a relationship thinking the other person has to change or will change, then you are starting on the wrong basis.
Maybe the other person has problems, maybe he does need to change … but love starts where our deepest wounds have their roots … love starts where we are at our weakest so that together we can grow strong!
If love means domestication, it also means we need to welcome the other person as a wondrous mystery that needs to be sacredly discovered and loved in all the facets of its personality. It’s easy to love someone when that person is at his best … much harder when that person is going through difficulties.
Yes, there will be times where things will get hard. Moments where the other person will get on your nerves. But when you truly love, it’s also a conscious decision to always be there for the other and to always chose forgiveness and commitment. When you love, aren’t you responsible for the other?
If you agree with what I’m writing, don’t you also agree that you deserve this same sort of love? Don’t we all deserve to be loved in the beauty and sacredness of who we are?
Love, True Love, Is Immortal!
We so easily and mistakenly give our love to the wrong people! We accept less than what we deserve because we do not believe there is something greater awaiting for us.
I read Richard Rohr’s daily meditations. I was truly moved by what he shared in this morning’s meditation. Talking about God’s justice and love, he said, “God’s power for justice is precisely God’s power to restore people when they are broken or hurt. God uses their mistakes to liberate them, to soften them, to enlighten them, to transform them, and to heal them.”
Well, that’s the love I need … that’s the love I want. A love that will take me as I am and help me in the poverty of my wounds to grow like a rose in a pool of mud. Only he will then be worthy of sharing the moments when I will bloom!
True love is commitment! True love is immortal! Don’t we all deserve such commitment? Such love and place of belonging? We got this! Let’s all not settle for less!
Oh … and by the way, if like me you won’t settle for less, why don’t you share my post with some friends and make sure to subscribe to my blog? All this only makes sense if you love what I write … wink, wink…